Friday, September 21, 2012

Grief Letter

Dear friends and family,

I have started attending a grief support group because I want to try to understand my grief and this time of mourning that God had brought me to. I don't know what this journey will look like but I am hoping it will eventually lead to healing. I want to ask for your patients because I don't know how I will be feeling at any given moment, especially with the holidays quickly approaching.

One thing I've learned about myself through this process so far is I tend to feel angry so please forgive me in advance if I seem mad or irritated. I also tend to withdraw from people because I feel like I make people uncomfortable. But I've been told isolating myself isn't the answer so please don't let me withdraw.

Something else I've learned through this experience thus far is how much work it is to grieve! When you are grieving you feel bombarded with emotions and every feeling is intensified almost beyond belief. Sometimes it takes every ounce of my energy to press passed these feelings and I become exhausted and my mind is cloudy and I forget things a lot! If I have made plans with you please please remind me over and over again or I might forget all together. If I do forget I apologize.

One thing that I've longed for is the chance to talk about Kenny. I noticed when I feel the urge to talk about him I tend to push it away because I don't want to make people uncomfortable and I HATE crying in public and talking about him will probably lead to crying! If you feel so bold to want to ride that wave of uncharted territory with me I would be so grateful. Also my kids need a chance to talk about their dad too and if they cry try not to stop them, instead help them to know that it's OK for them to miss their daddy and offer to pray with them and ask God to comfort their hurting hearts.

I wanted to share a story with you about how the Lord has shown me to deal with my children's hurting hearts. Holly, my 7 year old daughter, was sitting at the top of the stairs this morning. She was clearly very sad and I asked her what was wrong. She told me she missed her daddy and started to cry. I told her that I miss him too but that I couldn't take her pain away. I asked her if I could pray with her and she said yes. I prayed for God to be her comfort. I hugged her tightly and prayed that she would feel Gods arms around her holding her and helping her to know how much He loves her. I then reassured Holly how much I loved her and told her I was so thankful that God gave her to me because she was an extra special piece of her daddy that I get to have for the rest of our lives together.

Another time Holly was crying almost inconsolably and she said, on top of her grief, that her head hurt and her nose was stuffy. I said praise the Lord that He made it so our heads would hurt and our noses would get stuffy so we would know when to stop crying and start trusting God. God lets us cry for a time but then He wants us to remember that He is with us so we don't have to sink into despair.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter and for your continued prayers and support!
I trust that God has placed us here with all of you for a reason!
(Ephesians 4:11-16)
(1Corinthians 12:12-26)

In His Loving Arms,


  1. Beautiful Alyscia! Thank you for sharing. Hugs and prayers for you all!

  2. I am always willing to listen, if you don't mind me crying too.

  3. Thanks Christina and Rachel. I always feel less like crying when someone else is that weird?

  4. Woke up this morning with you guys on my heart...thank you for sharing yours. We love you and will keep praying.

  5. Lifting you up in prayer as you embark on your journey towards healing!

  6. Thanks for the prayers Lyndsey and Tracey they are very much appreciated! <3