Why are we so afraid of the truth? I don't know about your family but mine is filled with hatred, broken hearts and sin because of our avoidance of the truth. Who told the first lie in our family, I wonder... it doesn't matter, because like drug addicted junkies, we bought it and we sold it. We became something false, something impure, because of our little love affair with lies. I wonder why it's gone this far? Do you want to know the truth? We need the Lord to fix our messed up lives and not drugs or sex or money. But we never listen. That's the truth!
Do you know that God knows the exact hours, minutes, and seconds we will have on this planet? He knows how many heart beats will beat within our chest. He knows how many breaths we'll take. He knows how many trials we'll face long before we face them. Life is only a moment compared to eternity. Kenny is in eternity now and will always be. But what about us? While we live we have a choice to make. Who will we serve? God or the devil? What sin is worth holding onto so much that we pass up eternity? For that matter what point of view have you taken on God/Jesus or the Holy Spirit that has kept you from believing?
I can tell you right now, and it is not without a broken heart and a crushed spirit that I declare, that I will serve the God of the universe come what may. What do you believe in or stand for? Will it save your soul? My God could have saved my husband but He didn't. For that matter He could have let me walk out on my marriage because of my selfish nature but He didn't. God got a hold of my heart and He revealed truth to me. He told me I was a sinner and I was being selfish and angry at Kenny for something that had nothing to do with him. I was an angry person because of things that happened in my childhood things that never got resolved and may never be resolved this side of heaven. I had to let go of the hurt I was holding onto so I could love my husband. All I knew was pain and anger and hatred but God taught me how to love. He fixed my broken parts and He restored my marriage. That's why I will serve the Lord.
I never get tired of telling that story because with out God I would have fallen into the same trap everyone else in my family has fallen into. Anger! I am not cured from anger by any means because anger is something we have to face head on in this life, sometimes on a daily basis. We can either put on anger or put on love. I confess I have recently been putting on anger because I miss my husband and I don't understand why God took Him away from me and from our three beautiful children. But I have learned that if I bring my anger out into the light by talking about it with God, by telling Him how I am feeling and then asking for His help, God actually defeats its destructive power in my life. I really do cry out to Jesus sometimes all night long.
What are your hurts? What part of you needs fixing? God is the best listener, I know! A broken and contrite heart He will not despise. Come as you are He wont close His eyes. (Tenth avenue north song.... love that song!) God loves you and He can heal you but you have to be willing to bring all your pain and sufferings to Him. He wont let you down!
So the Truth is I lost my best friend! I miss him everyday but I am grateful that God woke me up and shone His healing light on my sinful and selfish heart or I wouldn't be feeling this pain, because I would have never learned to truly love. Rejoice in the Lord always again I say rejoice. Philippians 4:4
Any Other Way Tenth Avenue North