Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Got milk?

I have to tell you about my milk.
I was so sad yesterday because we haven't had milk for a few days. We had just come home from Kenny's doc appointment in Seattle and I was proud of myself for saving just enough gas for the trip. Anyways we came home and it was 5 o'clock before I even thought about what to make for dinner. We were blessed by some friends who gave us a bunch of ground beef the day before but I forgot to pull it out of the freezer. So, I think in exhaustion, I finally sat down in my chair and started to cry. I asked God why He had allowed us to be so weak. How long will we be in this situation and why can't I provide for my children the milk that they need. I was so sad and so tired and not five minutes later my neighbor comes to my door and hands me a gallon of milk. He said don't worry about paying him back. Then another five minutes go by and Naomi (who is my children's adopted grandmother) comes back from taking my oldest son school clothes shopping (another blessing) and hands me two more gallons of milk. I still don't know why God has allowed this trial into our lives and I still don't know how long it will last, but I do know that God is providing for our every need. It is so hard to be so weak but God is faithful and He will help us get through this, even when I get so upset and question Him. He still loves us even when we have a hard time trusting Him.

I just wanted to share that with you because I am so humbled and touched by yours and others generosity to us. It has been the hardest thing for me to be the recipient of so much because I said in my heart I would never be in need because I would always be able to take care of myself (issues from my past). I don't even have the words to describe my gratitude to everyone, I wonder if anyone really understands how much they have blessed my family. Well only God knows.

One more thing... I love you and I will pray for you with all my heart! God bless you all.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Be anxious for nothing! Really... for nothing!!!

What to eat or what not to eat… that is the question. And another I ask. To take medicine or not to take medicine that is the other question.

I love the Lord’s timing! He is so faithful and good to show us His will and lift us up when we are feeling low. I have been so torn up inside about everything regarding Kenny’s care. I love my husband very much and I have been so afraid that I would make a bad decision regarding his treatment for cancer all the way down to what foods to feed him. That is when God led me to me Romans 14. (Please read this chapter to understand the rest of this blog entry) You see my situation isn’t new to God. People have been pondering these same thoughts for hundreds of years, maybe since the beginning of time. Ecclesiastes teaches us that there is nothing new under the sun. There is a time for everything. A time to be born and a time to die, you know how this goes. God is in control and He doesn’t want us to be so caught up with these questions. God loves us and He knows what we can handle. Let’s face it… we live in a world that is money driven and if you don’t have the money you don’t have the best food or the best doctors or the best medicines. God knows this. He also told us to pray and walk by faith not by sight as we go about our lives. He is the one who predestines our birth and our death regardless of what we decide. God knows if we will be victims of drug abuse or alcoholism, it is God who set the world in motion. We think we know more than He does. I know my 8 year old son likes to think he knows more than I do about life. Oh, we have gotten into a few discussions about how I was made (by the Almighty God) his mother and how, regardless of whether or not he knows more than I do, he still needs to submit to my authority over him. I know that I will not make a decision about my husband’s medical care or nutrition alone. I know that God is with me every step of the way and I know that He will lead me down the path that He has predestined us to go.

I love my Lord and I love how He loves me and my family. He is my rock, my fortress of defense to save me. I love all of you who have been faithful to pray for us during this difficult time. Please let this be a blessing to you. Please don’t live your life in fear of death because death comes to us all. We should all take care of ourselves and make the best choices for our families needs but don’t let those issues consume you. Don’t be judgmental of others who might not make the same nutritious choices you do. Walk a mile in their shoes. God is big and He uses all sorts of ways to teach us and grow us into the image of His son. God has blessed us with wonderful friends and family and that is the only treasure worth seeking after, not money not a long healthy life. We are only given what we are given. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away and still I will say blessed be the name of the Lord.