I just want to write. I have this desire to write and sometimes I have no idea what to write. It can be very frustrating you know. I wish all I had to do was sit here if front of my computer and type these thoughts that come into my head, that would be amazing for me scary for you ha ha. So I have been in school now for about 2 and a half weeks and I have already failed one quiz. I really can't believe it. I am however getting a very good grade in my English& 101 class. I love writing but I hate writing in response to reading. We have to read this book and then respond to it. Yuck! I really need to memorize the parts of the body for my AP test on Monday but instead I'm just typing away like I have nothing else to do.
I have been out of school for so long it seems like I forgot how to study or lost the ability. I really am trying but every time I sit down to read my psychology book I start to fall asleep. It's not my fault I'm old now. I don't know. Maybe it is me, I have been in slow motion for a couple of days now and I can't seem to shake it. Seriously I was at the grocery store today and I took me like 30 minutes just to get out of the car. You think I'm exaggerating but I'm not. I was just sitting there thinking. Not about anything in particular just thinking. Then once I got in the store I was totally in my own little world. I skipped around the isles with no direction. I finally made it back to my car with my shopping cart full and started to put groceries in the back. I was trying to make it all fit so when I took a corner it wouldn't spill over (I hate that). I turned around to get another bag out of my cart when I noticed my cart was gone. It had rolled halfway back to the store before I turned around. I heard a cart rolling but didn't think it was mine. A nice lady brought it back for me and I just said, "oh my gosh I'm sorry, thanks for grabbing my cart." Wow, can you say "space cadet." I really need to focus on something or we will all be in real danger!!!
For now I guess I'll just hit the sack and pray tomorrow will be better. I really need to get it together, I have to get it together! Oh Lord help me to get it together please I beg you! I am stumbling around down here like I just learned to walk. I need you to hold my hands and lead me down this road. I can't do it alone I need your help. I am nothing with out you, save me from myself I pray in Jesus name Amen!!!
OK ... this one had me bustin' a gut (you've seen my gut ..... that's a lot of bustin'!) But in the end you got to my heart as usual. I, for one, know how dedicated you are to EVERYTHING !!! Your husband, your children, ( my children!!), your church and church family, and last but not least ... school. You waited a long time to follow your desire to go to school and I am super proud of you for following through and also in awe at how you juggle everything. But you do it and I don't doubt for one second that you will continue to do so. You know the Lord has your back and so keep your strength, keep moving forward at whatever speed you are able to manage at that moment, and HANG ON TO YOUR DAMN CART!!! Jeez, Lee, it really could have done some damage rolling all around the parking lot like that!! LOL! Anyway, Sweetie, I love you ... you are AMAZING! Go look in the mirror and repeat that 5 times..... XXOOXXOO!
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