I have been in many situations where I feel like I can't possibly go on another second, I am in a desperate and lonely place and I just need someone to talk to. Searching and seeking for the right person to call to no avail. And then with all my resources spent I cry out to God. Help me God I have no one! Help me Lord I am lost! God why is this happening to me? God where are you? Do you even see me? All of these have been my cry when all the world seems to fail me. Every person seems preoccupied or ironically unavailable when I need them most. Are they bad friends? No, as much as I'd like to blame someone other than myself, they are just merely being detained by God so that I will be utterly alone and in desperation call upon the One who has everything I need. Why do we let our life get so overwhelming before we call upon our Lord? Well in my case I am a stubborn fool, what's your excuse?
Seriously, I was having an OK day and then out of nowhere it just went all wrong. Kenny wasn't there to talk to me when I had some random thought. That's it, that's all that happened. I just really wanted to talk to Kenny about what was on my mind and he wasn't there to talk to me. My night just snowballed after that, one thing after another as I thought, "I am all alone right now and though my friends and family are here with me they aren't who I really want." Then wouldn't you know it my best friend, my sister in crime, goes into labor. She wasn't due until my birthday in May but when it's time it's time. So that's such a wonderful happy joy filled event and here I am crying my eyes out thinking, "perfect just perfect another happy person for me to hate!" Hey don't judge my thoughts this is my blog I can vent when I want to.
So after getting the wonderful news, I told the kids to get in bed, (in a not so nice tone). So now they're crying and I'm thinking, "way to go mom of the year." OK I will go talk to them.... do you know what my daughter tells me? She misses her dad but she didn't stop there. She also misses her Aunt and her cousins, she misses Morgan sleeping in her room, the list went on for some time. I thought to myself, Lord so many people come and go in and out of our lives it's no wonder we have such a difficult time loving. Loving hurts! But You know that better than anyone of us God! You so loved this screwed up world filled with messed up people who just keep the crazy cycle going, that You sent Your blameless Perfect Sinless Son to die on the cross for us stupid people, some who wont ever figure that out! Wow, talk about LOVE. "OK, this is where we're supposed to pray Holly," I say as if to convince myself. "Lord we need you tonight! Our hearts are hurting and our eyes are tired of crying. We know the bible says you are a comforter and a friend, that you draw near to the broken hearted. Lord we are sad tonight but would you please be our strength and our peace and our comfort? In Jesus name amen."
So, how do you think the rest of our night went after that? Praise be to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the God of all comfort!
Click here>>> Outta My Mind by Anthem Lights <<< to here this blog author's anthem for the week.
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