What hidden treasures have we found

I am completely amazed at the outpouring of love our family has experienced in the last few days. It is so humbling to know that you are with us in prayer. You have so loved us even though we truly have no way to repay.

You have filled our refrigerator with plenty and you have spent your precious time praying for us and thinking up ways to bless us. You have provided delicious meals and money for gas. You have donated your time to clean out our junk room and turn it into a playroom. You cut our lawn you built a swing set for our children. You've rejoiced with us and cried with us.

You have sent us cards and lent us your DVD's and video game equipment so Kenny wouldn't be bored while recovering. You've give us furniture and clothes, CD's, noise reducing head phones. You have helped us move over and over again. You have been there through the good days and bad days.
You have helped us to understand the Word of life. We can never repay that! You have sacrificed yourselves for us. "Thank you," just doesn't seem sufficient, but it's all we have.

But do you know what really makes me grateful? It's that God so loved us that He gave His one and only Son that anybody who believes in Him will have everlasting life.

I was a filthy rotten sinner, full of myself and greedy. I was so blinded by what the world calls love that I almost walked out on my marriage. I wasn't "feeling" like I was treated well enough by my husband, that he didn't appreciate me or try to love me the way I thought I needed to be loved. I was so self centered but yet I thought I was a good person. I didn't try to steal anything or hurt another person intentionally so I thought I was good-to-go with God.

When Kenny was diagnosed with cancer I couldn't believe it. I had been working hard to fix my marriage and had been sure that at some point I would be rewarded for my valiant efforts. God had to be watching me pull this off on my own. He knew I was a good person before the marriage troubles and now, well I was a saint because I was doing all the wifely duties and taking my issues to Him first with out blowing up at Kenny. I was striving in my own strength to be good enough for God. And I was on a roll. Until that diagnosis.

"Wait a minute God you have the wrong family! This can't be for us! You must be mistaken! I have been good and I'm reading your word and I'm doing what's right. Why are you punishing us now? What did we do wrong?"

I was so angry at God and confused and hurt and fearful. I didn't know if I had somehow prayed the wrong prayer or done something to deserve this. But what I didn't expect was how God used this horrible disease to bring Kenny and me closer to Him. And then how that would bring other people to Him as well. And what I found when I really got close to God is something far better than anything this world could ever offer.

LOVE!

God's love is amazing! He is all knowing and yet He still loves us. He see's us better than we see ourselves. He opens our eyes to see life in a new way. He gives us peace that surpasses all understanding. He speaks to our souls and He heals us from the inside out. He gave us His Son to take all our sin and shame. We don't have to carry around all that garbage anymore. He wants to take it from us. I don't know about you but I don't even want to take Kenny's dirty socks to the laundry room. It's unfathomable what God has done for us!

The best and most wonderful gift of all through this very hard stuff of life is that God taught us how to live like life truly is a gift. Everyday, every minute, every heartbeat is from Him. Why isn't that enough for us? Why do we seek anything else?

God showed Kenny and me how to forgive, how to really love, how be patient, how to listen and how to pray. He opened our eyes to see that it doesn't really matter if the kids are out of bed for the tenth time, so what? Listen to them while they are young. They wont sound this cute when they are teenagers. Laugh when things get to stressful. Look up when your feeling down. Be thankful for everything you have because in an instant it can all be gone.

Don't hold a grudge! There is no point in worrying about the future. Things could be a lot worse. Look around you to see the people who need a friend. There are a lot of lonely and hurting people out there and they just need someone to care. Shouldn't that be us? We have the gift of Truth, the gospel of Jesus Christ, we should really share it more freely and with a much greater passion than we do.

I am grateful for Kenny's cancer, because without it I would never have known how much of life I was missing. Will God chooses to heal Kenny or to take Him home? I don't know, but I have faith that whatever God chooses it will be for our good. He loves taking ashes and turning them into beauty.

We would never have seen His beauty if it wasn't for His pain.We would never have known His love if it wasn't for our shame!