We Wont Give Up

Is there anything better than being there for your kids? I love that I get to be apart of three of the most adorable children's lives (a non-biased remark I assure you)! I have to savor these moments because they are fleeting! This was the first time I got out the video camera since Christmas time. Didn't have an urge to film or take pictures because I didn't really want to accept that time is still ticking away and moments still need to be cherished. I don't want to miss out on these moments though....so I'm firing up the video camera and uploading new memories!!! Not moving on, just moving forward! I know Kenny would have been so proud of his son!

He is my, Advocate my Strength and my Defender.

Exodus 22:22-24

 “You shall not afflict any widow or fatherless child. 

 If you afflict them in any way, and they cry at all to Me, I will surely hear their cry; 

 and My wrath will become hot, and I will kill you with the sword; 

your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless.

Is it wrong that I really really enjoyed reading these words tonight? O who cares! It's in the Word! I love the strength of this verse! If you afflict any widow or fatherless child... I'll kill you! I love feeling protected by the all powerful God of the universe! Watch out I am armed with this verse and I know how to use it! Just kidding. Maybe.

To Share or Not To Share

Ugh! Everything hurts! Everyday I pray things will get better and they don't. I am trying to decide if I should go to this grief counseling group and I gotta say, right now the scale is tipping towards NO.

I hate time! I hate that my kids are getting older. So far two of my three children have had their birthdays pass without their dad being here. As excruciating as it was to face those dates, we have to do that for the rest of our lives. How is that encouraging? How is that truth supposed to make you want to keep going? Now they are starting a new school year, really? Call me crazy but I don't see how anything time has to offer me could be good.

What's up with the word mourning? It sounds exactly like morning as in, "Good morning." Why don't they call it something more fitting like, evening or utter darkness? How about the word widow? That's just an ugly word! Well I guess that one might be fitting since I feel very ugly right now!

So grief groups, time, stupid words, anything else roaming around in my mind tonight? Na' better not share too much!

I truly wouldn't wish this pain on anyone! I do wish people, myself included, cared more about the sufferings of others. How many times do I fix my eyes straight ahead of me when I notice a person holding a sign by the freeway? How often do let my thoughts wander, yet stayed mostly on myself, as I see so many other people with problems and pains.

Sure a buck for the homeless man and a quick assurance to myself that I can't solve other peoples problems gets me through the awkward moment but... then what? What happens next time you cross paths with the beggar or the person with issues? Someone will help them right? Right?

Matthew 25:31-46

Hungry, thirsty, stranger, naked, sick and in prison. Words we hope will never describe us as we try to avoid such destitute people. Have you seen the movie, A Christmas Carol? Not the newer versions that tell the story in animation or with puppets. That movie has been re-made so many times and every time it seems the story gets a lighter and more whimsical spin to it. I think the reason that movie has been re-made so many times is because the story makes people uncomfortable and with every new version we become dumber to the truths that sparked the story in the first place. There are such people all around us, people who are hungry and in need and we turn our heads and assume someone else will help them. What if we are the help and we turn away? What if God had intended us to see that person in need at that particular time and we did nothing? Well we know the answer to that if we would read Matthew 25:31-46.

Have you ever suffered so much or been so destitute that people wouldn't even look you in the eye? That's like kicking you when you're down. If you have to suffer at least let people see so they could be moved to compassion or moved to something! Do you know the magnitude of the sin that was placed on Jesus on the cross caused the Father to look away? You can't even imagine the pain that Jesus was suffering and then to have The ONLY One who ever knew Him, the One who truly Loved Him look away as He suffered, we can't even fathom the excruciating alone feeling that broke His heart as He died.

Don't look away from the least of these, they are God's vessels unto us. We are blessed as we serve them. We are not called to fix them but to lead them to the one who can bring healing and restoration. We can feed them, we can clothe them, we can visit them in prison. Why don't we do that more often? Maybe because we're too wrapped up in our own world. Maybe we are caught up in our mind, with thoughts of self continually, ignoring them because we can't see past the end of our noses?

Oh Lord forgive me again for my selfish thoughts! Help me to remember what You suffered for me on the cross all alone. You freely gave me forgiveness for the sins I deserved to be punished for. Help me to freely give. Lord only at the cross is there comfort and mercy and love. You paid it all for a world that crucified You. Help us to not be so wrapped up in our own little worlds that we forget that there is a world of suffering people in need. Let us be Your hands and feet, in Jesus name AMEN.

Matthew 25:31-46
New King James Version (NKJV)
The Son of Man Will Judge the Nations

31 “When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy[a] angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. 33 And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left. 34 Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 35 for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; 36 I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? 38 When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? 39 Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’

41 “Then He will also say to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels: 42 for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink; 43 I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.’

44 “Then they also will answer Him,[b] saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?’ 45 Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ 46 And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

Grieving With God

08 30 Brant Hansen Extra Special Bonus Show Special

Grieving A Loss In The Hope Of God

If you are searching for answers to the tough questions that come about as you grieve the loss of your loved one, here are two great woman who've walked that road and can relate to your pain and offer you hope. If you're a friend of someone who lost a loved one and you want to be able to minister to them here are two great resources for you. God is willing to give His Holy Spirit to those who ask. Ask and you will receive understanding. Praise the Lord!

Get Understanding

Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, 

And give attention to know understanding; 

For I give you good doctrine: Do not forsake my law. 

When I was my father’s son, 

Tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, 

He also taught me, and said to me: 

“Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commands, and live.

Get wisdom! Get understanding! 

Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth. 

Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you; 

Love her, and she will keep you. 

Wisdom is the principal thing; 

Therefore get wisdom. 

And in all your getting, get understanding.

(Proverbs 4:1-7 NKJV)

It's true what they say that you can't fully understand a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. I am a critical person towards myself and others. I have a hard time understanding WHY a person feels a certain way. And for the most part I didn't care that much to figure out the reasons. I just figured that was their problem and God would have to deal with their issues. But now in the middle of my unbearable trial I find myself wishing, praying, that someone would try to understand me. 

I had a very small gathering of friends over for my daughters 7th birthday this past Sunday. My mind has been in such a heavy fog these past few weeks. I forget everything! I can't park straight to save my life (warning to those who park by me) and I drop things all the time. I locked myself out of my house yesterday but by the grace of God was able to shove my 9 year old through a small window to get back in. But anyways I was talking about my daughters party. 

I have never been a huge birthday party throwing type to begin with, I think I had two birthday parties my whole life. But I wanted to do something for my daughter, mostly out of guilt. She was really missing her daddy. The day of her actual birthday she woke up crying and asked me, "Why did God make me?" She was a total daddy's girl and I can't imagine what she must be dealing with in her tiny little 7 year old mind as she tries to process the loss of her dad. So here I am 7 months after Kenny's passing trying to get up enough energy to have some friends over for cake and ice cream so my daughter would have a nice day. 

I thought about canceling the party at least 3 times but somehow, by the grace of God, managed to not cancel. Dealing with grief is exhausting and I was so scatter brained and tired and low on iron and a bit cranky. Mix that all up with a birthday party and I'm not sure what you get. I sat there on the porch with two of my friends and I asked them, "What is it like to have a friend who's husband died?" I hadn't really thought about it from their point of view before and I was curious. Was it uncomfortable, was it depressing, do you always feel down when you're around that friend? They were kind of shocked at my question but answered that it wasn't like that at all. 

I think because of my friends love for me they are more cautious and even stand-offish towards me for fear of saying the wrong thing. Thank you Jill for helping me figure that one out! I can't imagine what it must be like to have a friend who is going through something so foreign and difficult that you have no words. There must be a sense of helplessness. And I do know that feeling because I watched Kenny struggle with everything from; brain surgeries, chemo, radiation, and trial drugs, to headaches and side affects from drugs and emotional pains due to stress and everything in between. And the only thing I could do for him was just be there. It was so hard to watch him die wishing there was something I could do knowing it was out of my hands. 

That is kind of what I'm getting at. I know there is nothing you can say that will make my pain any less. But please don't feel like you shouldn't say anything. I know it's hard to watch someone struggle but please, do. I guess I'm asking you to suffer with me not knowing how long this will last. I might be angry one day or sad another or who knows you might catch me on a happy day. Mostly I just want to feel like I'm not alone. And maybe in the midst of this we will both "get understanding." 

If you are interested in the 7 stages of grief here is a great link that might help you understand
http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html

Thanks 

Simply Believe

There are many things in life that we trust with out question. For example, the rising of the sun. The sun has been pretty faithful to me over the last 32 years of my life to rise every morning. I plan my life around the fact that the sun will rise tomorrow so I have to get ready for the day the night before. It would be silly of us to not expect the morning and neglect our work because of our lack of faith in the sun.

Exercise has also been proven to be beneficial to our bodies and so is healthy eating. But even though those things are proven to be good and beneficial to us, unless we implement the work of exercising and eating healthy, it does us no good and we receive no benefit. Their truth remains the same but just knowing it or hearing about it does't make us healthy. We have to put exercise and healthy eating into practice before we see their benefits in our lives.

The same is true of our Christian faith. We hear wonderful testimonies from other people of God's faithfulness. Testimonies are so amazing and inspiring! The Bible is full of God's words to us, His promises to us. We read them, we hear them and even memorize them, but until we put them into practice in our lives we wont receive their blessings. Until we step out on the waters of faith, we wont receive the promises of God.

Stepping out in faith is difficult but once you take that first step it becomes easier. However, it doesn't compare to the work of waiting on the promises! We need to remain faithful even in the absence of the promise. We have to continue to believe that what God has said will come to pass, even if it seems like an insane amount of time has gone by with no evidence of the promise arriving.

It's a dual blessing we receive in the end. Because after we have endured the longsuffering of waiting, God sends His promise. And we come to find that we not only received our blessing but our faith has been strengthened all the more. We are stronger now and it was all because of faith. Simple belief in the all powerful Word of God.

The simplest things can sometimes be the most difficult for us!

Waiting wont kill us! Keeping our hope in Him wont Kill us! It is hard work yes, but if we should lose hope and turn away then we are in real danger of death, eternal death. Struggle a bit more with Him and you'll come to know, just as sure as the sun and the moon are in the sky, He is faithful to do the things He says He will do!

Lord, teach us to live by faith! Help us to not lose hope. We know that You are able to sustain us in the storms of life. You are faithful! Thank You for the promise we have through faith in Jesus Christ, eternal life! You have washed our sins away, we are made new and we are forgiven! Lord that is enough! May we be content to know at the end of this life of suffering we will see You and all our tears shall turn into shouts of praise! You are Worthy! Thank You for not leaving us here to suffer alone. Thank You for showing us the way we should go. We can choose to have You walk with us through these trails and to cling to Your words, how amazing! I can't imagine going through these pains without You! Thank You for Your longsuffering, thank You for Your Love!

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus 

just to take Him at His word 

just to rest upon His promise 

just to know thus saith the Lord.

Fight For The Future

The Lord is longsuffering and abundant in mercy, 

forgiving iniquity and transgression; 

but He by no means clears the guilty, 

visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation. 

Numbers 14:18

God is "JUST" 

JUST:
adjective
1.  guided by truth, reason, justice, and fairness: We hope to be just in our understanding of such difficult situations.
2.  done or made according to principle; equitable; proper: a just reply.
3.  based on right; rightful; lawful: a just claim.
4.  in keeping with truth or fact; true; correct: a just analysis.
5.  given or awarded rightly; deserved, as a sentence, punishment, or reward: a just penalty.
Compliments of http://dictionary.reference.com/

God is loving and forgiving it's true. Everyone loves to consider God's loving and forgiving nature! It's the just and good part that we sometimes question. But, our questioning doesn't change the truth!

I read a story in the bible about a King named Hezekiah. 2 Kings 18 introduces us to this good king and all the good things he did....in the beginning of his reign. You have to read the story for yourself.

2 Kings 18-20 Click the link to read the story.

So King Hezekiah had a good run until chapter 20 when he became sick and near to death. Isaiah the prophet told the king to get his house in order because this sickness would kill him. But the king turned away from the prophet and prayed to God. "'Remember now, O LORD, I pray, how I have walked before You in truth and with a loyal heart, and have done what was good in Your sight.' and Hezekiah wept bitterly." (2 Kings 20:3) Clearly the king wasn't happy about God's decision to bring an end to his life. However, God heard the king and instructed the prophet Isaiah to go back and tell the king he would live.

What would you do if you only had 2 weeks to live, but after pleading your case to God you were granted another 15 years? I know most of our answers would sound something like; "Oh, I would be so grateful and I would serve the Lord even more!" We would all love to think that we could live up to that, but history has shown us something completely different and much more humanistic.

Instead of living his life fully devoted to God and serving Him all the more for extending his life. King Hezekiah paraded his treasures and everything that he had.

I let my oldest son stay up late with me one night while my other two children were put to bed. We watched a movie and ate mint chocolate chip ice cream with pretzels on top. Seriously if you haven't tried it, you are missing out! But I digress. The next day I let the kids watch a movie and my oldest son says to his younger siblings, "I got to stay up late last night and watch a movie with mom a-n-d have ice cream." You know he said it in a, 'ha ha,' kind of voice. What a little stinker! I let him stay up later and instead of being gracious and loving towards his siblings, he rubs it in their faces. You know you've done that too!

So after Hezekiah shows off to the other kings, Isaiah says to him, “Hear the word of the Lord: ‘Behold, the days are coming when all that is in your house, and what your fathers have accumulated until this day, shall be carried to Babylon; nothing shall be left,’ says the Lord. ‘And they shall take away some of your sons who will descend from you, whom you will beget; and they shall be eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon.’” (2 Kings 20:16-18)

And how does the kindly, grateful King reply?  “The word of the Lord which you have spoken is good!” For he said, “Will there not be peace and truth at least in my days?” (2 Kings 20:19) 

Doesn't that just make you so mad? It makes me mad! I can't believe he doesn't care about his children or his children's children. Unfortunately, we see that all around us today! Parents using drugs and drinking and gambling. Mom's and dad's who walk out on their families because things get too hard. No regard for our children's future! Sexual sins and divorces that could have been avoided by humbling yourselves or asking for forgiveness and extending forgiveness towards them. Are we just like King Hezekiah? Are we only living for ourselves? Do we have no regard for the future? Do we have no compassion, no love, no remorse? Do we only want to look good but not have to work at being good?

Think about all the sin in the world. Now think about a newborn child being born into all this sin. Why do we want to start families if we're not going to see them through? What happens to us along the way? At what point did we give up the good fight and cave into our own selfish natures? God knows you never wanted it to be this way! But here we are. So now what? What will you do? Because one day you will die, and your children will be the ones that tell your story. What will they say about you? Will they even mention your name? Do you even care if they mention your name?

How foolish we can be. But, I believe there is a way out! I believe God can bring a family that was doomed to be forsaken by their forefathers out of the pit of destruction. But, don't think the enemy will just let you walk away. No, he's had his hands on your lineage for so long you'd better believe he'll pull out all the stops to get you to cave in like those before you did. There is a way out but you better be ready to fight! And you'd better know this, that you might not get a chance to live the, so called, 'blessed life' here on earth. But you're kids might, isn't that worth the battle?

Think you're too weak to carve out a new path in this life? 
(Isaiah 41:9-10)
You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth,
And called from its farthest regions,
And said to you,
‘You are My servant,
I have chosen you and have not cast you away:
Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

Praise the Lord!

Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,

Who delights greatly in His commandments.

His descendants will be mighty on earth;

The generation of the upright will be blessed.

Wealth and riches will be in his house,

And his righteousness endures forever.

Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness;

He is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous.

A good man deals graciously and lends;

He will guide his affairs with discretion.

Surely he will never be shaken;

The righteous will be in everlasting remembrance.

He will not be afraid of evil tidings;

His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

His heart is established;

He will not be afraid,

Until he sees his desire upon his enemies.

He has dispersed abroad,

He has given to the poor;

His righteousness endures forever;

His horn will be exalted with honor.

The wicked will see it and be grieved;

He will gnash his teeth and melt away;

The desire of the wicked shall perish.

Psalm 112