Wow, trials are hard! You think you have everything under control, you think you are sure of your faith, and then you are tested. I was taken back by feelings and emotions that started flooding my mind these last few weeks. I thought since I knew the truth that those thoughts would just fall away. They didn't, in fact they intensified.
Trust is a hard thing for me to do. I am weak in this area! But it's so simple, I just have to choose to trust, regardless of my feelings and emotions and circumstances I need to choose to trust that God is in control and that He loves me and is for me.
I was walking along the battle field of life with my sword in hand and my shield lifted up when all of a sudden I looked around me and saw the tremendous length of the battle field and how my enemies were surrounding me on all sides. They were reminding me of my failures and my past hurts. They lied to me and they tried to tell me that God was a mean God for letting all these horrible things happen.
Their weapons of psychological assault were working and my defenses were weakening. Then all around me loved ones were going down by crazy trials and my heart began to ache like never before. I found myself in a bad place. I had taken a road I shouldn't have. I took my eyes off of the Lord and saw what seemed an insurmountable battle raging all around me. I should have never taken my eyes off of my God!
Praise the Lord that all I needed to do was start trusting Him again. Though once I found myself in that place of fear and terror the enemy had so many opportunities to lie to me. I found myself believing those lies because I wondered out from under God's protective covering. It was a tough battle to get back to that place of trusting God because the enemy had me in an open area and every shot towards me was a direct hit.
Praise God for fellowship because my friends saw where I had gone and ran to my defense, led by my Savior, of that I'm sure. They rallied around me and prayed for me and reassured me of the truths the enemy had twisted with lies.
God came after me! He didn't let me go. I wandered out of the green pastures and He came after me. He does love me! He will never let me go! He is my savior yesterday, today and forever! The enemy might have caught me off guard but he will never catch God off His guard!
My Savior, my Lord, thank You! You are good! Thank You for my friends who patiently and lovingly reminded me of Your Truths! Thank You for saving me again! Lord help me never take my eyes off of You again! I love You and I trust You and You alone!!! Be with me today as we take on another battle. We are heading up to Seattle today to get the results of Kenny's MRI. Be with us Lord help me to keep my eyes on You God!!! Thank You in Your son's precious name amen.
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