You say You love me. You say You want me. You say you will be here for me, but here I am and where are You? You have let all this in my life!!! You did this. You have taken everything away from me. What do I have left? You took my childhood. You allowed me to be violated by my mothers boyfriend You let me live in that house for all those years. Just when I thought I had finally escaped that trial You threw another in my face. You are mean. Now you want to take my husband away from me. The only man I've ever let into this crazy painful existence, the only one I ever trusted with all my baggage, You are killing. What did I ever do to You? I've tried my whole life to trust You and pray to You and this is what I get? Why? I made mistakes everyone has but did I do anything deserving of this? Why do You hate me? I cried out to You and You were silent! Why have You forgotten me? What do You want from me? Tell me what to do and I will do it. I just don't want to be in this pain anymore! There are so many ways to kill this pain down here, drugs, alcohol... but I can't bring myself to do that. I want to kill this pain so badly. I need You Lord to heal me. I need real healing! I need You to reach down and lift me up because I can't stand anymore. Help me please I can't do this without You. You are God! You made me and You say You love me. I want to believe that please help me to trust You. No one down here can save me, it's only You who can save me. SAVE ME! I am begging you please God please. I am so weak but You are strong. I am falling apart please piece me back together. I am Yours! Fill me with Your love and Your peace. I know You love me! I know You will be with me. I trust You God, please forgive me. Take what You want to but please don't leave me. I know I have been taking back the past that I gave to You. Please never let me take it back again. I give it all to You, I don't know why You want it but take it anyways. I never want to take it back again. My life belongs to You. I will wait for You to come and rescue me, come and give me life.
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